That's a great question. I always wondered how my friends who worked at the church actually spent their time. When I was a banker - I did banking, helping customers 40 hours a week. When I managed the Coldstone - I made and served ice cream full time. But what do the hours during the week look like for a youth pastor, other than holding a youth service? I'll break it down for you...
1) Meeting with staff.
Right now that involves primarily Pastor Steve. But we have other all staff meetings and leaders meetings to get on the same page and head in the same direction. I'm loving these times so much. Sometimes we go over how best to help a certain family in our church, sometimes it's what computer we should buy next, sometimes it's what we really believe about prophecy. You never know what you're going to learn. I'm so blessed to be able to learn so much from our pastor every day I go to work.
2) Doing the little things
Someone has to figure out what prizes we want to give away at our youth events. Or do the research on exactly what video camera we should purchase. Deciding on graphics and event titles, sending lots of emails, getting your announcements in for the bulletin on time, etc. This is the stuff that seems to grab at your time and fill up your week. And it's all so random week to week. It's the stuff that causes you to look back on your week and ask yourself, "What did I get done this week?"
3) Hearing from the Lord
My favorite part of ministry is the hearing from God part. I try to give my mornings to hearing from God and taking down what I'm learning. Lots of that involves preparing messages to speak - I spoke to our youth, our youth pastoral staff and our worship team this week. When I was an intern I was so jealous that there were people who were paid to study the Bible...God has fulfilled the desire of my heart!! This part also involves big vision stuff - we just finished putting together a document that lays out our vision and values for our youth and worship ministries. Now we just need to put that plan into action.
4) Relationships with people
This is what pastoring is all about, eh? We spend time with our leaders, we spend time with students, we spend time with parents, etc. At this stage in the game this involves meeting new people every week and trying to build trust and respect with people that really don't know us. We're feeling out these people and being evaluated by them. It's really an intimidating process and not for the insecure. Thank goodness for the love of God and the call of God. It pushes us past awkwardness and fear and leads us to the most rewarding part of ministry - people's lives being touched and changed by God!
This leads us to our question of the week (we're diving deeper). I had a great little conversation with Corey this week about this and thought I'd throw it out to everyone...
In your opinion, what is the best thing a leader can do to gain trust and respect from the people he/she is leading?
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102 comments:
I'm so glad you posted this because ever since I started at Westside I have been frustrated feeling like I'm always racing the clock to get everything done, but can rarely point to a definitive list of "done" things. The tyranny of the urgent will take you over if you let it. Sometimes I let it. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I go home and hug my kids and let God run the Church! :)All good options for future reference. Love you guys!
Pretty sure I like the kid option best. :-)
I just run home and hug Phil and Tim and eat hot pockets...
Response to question of gaining trust and respect?
#1: Listen and conversate until you dig up the true heart of the person.
#2: Respond with service that is SIGNIFICANTLY costly to you (time, money, energy, etc.) that pertains to what you found in their heart.
Listening with a shovel, respond with a bigger shovel. Anything less will group you with common Christianity.
This is a tough one...I still need some time to think!
So I have been thinking about this question of trust and respect and here are my thoughts....
Respect is the reason why you would trust someone as a leader in your life. Only if you respect them will you be willing to trust them to speak into an area in your own life. For instance, if you respect someone's marriage you would most likely trust their relationship advice. However if you don't respect their financial life you would have a hard time taking financial counsel from them. So then it would seem like earning someone's respect is the key to earning their trust. However it is not always that simple.
Different people respect different things. I respect a person of character who lives at high standards and prioritizes their relationship with God above everything else. The next person might really respect a person who dresses fashionably, talks the right language and always knows the right crowd to be involved with. The ticket that earns someone a possible place in my life is not the same for everyone else.
As a leader, you can either try to figure out what your target audience respects and be that person or you can figure out what God respects and let those who don't have similiar views as Him walk on by. Hopefully as we continue to count God's opinion highest on our list then our lives will become respectable not just in areas, but as a whole.
Lastly, once you have earned another's respect you must still take the time to cultivate trust. Trust is gained through consistency. As you prove yourself faithful others will learn that they can safely trust you. While trust can to some degree be earned just be someone observing your life, it is most deeply cultivated through personal time investment.
That's all I have for now. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
hum, i think one of the best ways to gain trust and respect is being faithful. be consistant, with your actions and your character. show that you will love people the same regardless, that you will treat people the same regardless...being faithful in the little things until they see you are going to be faithful in the big things in their lives also.
Trust comes from meeting or exceeding expectations. For example, we trust our car to start whenever we turn the key. If the car doesn't start - even once, we don't trust it for the next outing.
People are much less predictable than cars so it takes longer to gain the trust of others. The important thing is to understand the expectations that people have of you and then meet or exeed them.
Ok - I feel like I can answer this one now. I have been thinking about it for a while. So I think that you really build trust with someone when you are absolutely real with them and allow them to see the good and the bad. I get really frustrated with people who are fake, who say one thing yet do another. So far in my walk with the Lord I think the best way I have learned is from seeing people in action, the way they live thier lives when they are not on guard I guess. Just by hanging out with them and basically doing life together.
We Love you Guys and Miss you a ton and are trying to get over there before too long!
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