Jamie's late night thoughts

I am not sure whether it is Danny's recent blog kick or the Autumn leaves and crisp breeze that have inspired me to write lately, perhaps both. Today, though, I have been writing all day long. Being a mother of a two year old, it has all been in my head of course. But now that David has drifted off to sleep and my house lies quiet, all that has been written during the day finds it way out of my mind and into my studies and now, this blog. I think blogs must have been invented for men who like to chronicle their daily revelations out of Scripture and women who need more avenues to use up all their words. (Or at least that is what this blog has been utilized for.) So, for whoever reads this, bear with me as I use up some extra words from today.
As the heat of the summer finally submits to the Harvest season, I find myself spending more and more time with a cup of coffee, my Bible and a contemplative spirit. Not that I don't contemplate in the other seasons, but in this particular season I seem to contemplate more that usual. I contemplate the Word of God, my life, how my life measures up to the Word, the church, parenting, and on and on. I am a firm believer in contemplation, especially with the Holy Spirit, as I believe it leads to accurate self evaluation and practical goals for the future. Anyways, today I was once again contemplating on the consistent war between faith and worry. For those of you that know me, you know that this has been a large battle in my personal life that started on the day that I realized that these two were opposed to each other. Ruth Bell Graham says it this way, " Worship and worry cannot live in the same heart; they are mutually exclusive." Today though as I was evaluating my faith level, the Holy Spirit led me to the revelation that just as faith and worry cannot co-habitate neither can disappointment and a thankful heart.
I have never really thought of myself as disappointed in anything in my life. I have an amazing husband, a healthy child whom I have the privilege of staying home with, I love my ministry, etc, etc. God has truly blessed us! As the Holy Spirit began to reveal to me the power of thanksgiving and the barrier that disappointment poses to it, I began to see with Him even the slightest areas of disappointment in my life. Areas that are not bad, but are not exactly the vision I had of them either. As one area popped up, others began to surface and before long I realized that in order to go where the Holy Spirit is wanting to lead me in my relationship with Him disappointment can have no place in my life, not even the smallest part.
Tonight marks a significant day for me just as the one did years ago when I decided to engage in the battle against worry and fear. Tonight I decided to engage the giant of disappointment in battle no matter how small the ground is that he would try to take in my life. I wonder at people who do not seem to live this Christian life with excitement and passion. I find it absolutely invigorating to realize the plans of the enemy and then partner with Christ in destroying them!!!

From them will proceed thanksgiving and the voice of those who celebrate; And I will multiply them and they will not be diminished; I will also honor them and they will not be insignificant. Jeremiah 30:19

That is all for tonight. Word ratio is now satisfied. To the unknown blog reader or readers out there: Be blessed in your conquests this week!